5884 Days

25 January 2000, 2:15 AM

It must have been one month ago the last time I wrote something about you. That day I felt inspired to I grabbed my laptop and started writing. Since this year started I've been reading it almost everyday but, seems there's always something else to add. It's the problem of having such a wonderful mother as you.

I remember the next three nights I fell asleep with tears in my eyes because I missed you. I know maybe what I'm about to ask you is impossible but can you come here, just for a day, so we can all say goodbye to you as it was supposed to be? I was too little when it all happened and I think I didn't even know you were sick, I only know for what I remember and I am told. - I'm sorry if you can see me crying right now - I don't think there's anyone who has said goodbye the way they really wanted to because you went away so suddenly. It's now 1 A.M. There's only one hour and a quarter for the moment yo left. If I stay awake until then will you try to come back? I'll be here waiting for you, I promise.

You have so many people missing you as much I do. Everyone love you so much that it's hard to understand how much of a good person someone can be for that to happen and I'm sure each one of them would want you to come either. I'd love to see you again but mostly to have you in my arms and, you can bet I'd make a speech of how much I love you and I'd keep saying it over and over again until you had to leave, even though it would hurt me.

Do you remember when you were cleaning on saturdays and you told dad to go for a ride because you didn't like anyone at home and you moved all the furniture? And when you went to grandma on the weekends, sundays I believe, and you fed me soup really hot and when when we got home and you didn't let me go to bed before I took a shower? Do you remember when you bought dad a camera? And wanting to have a second child? I'd love that was possible. I was thinking about names and I only recall boys names, I'd like his name to be Afonso. If it was a girl I don't know, there's any name that stands out for me but maybe we both could come up with something.

It's two minutes past the time, where are you? Are you on your way or are you late? If you got lost tell me and I'll meet you. I need you. Can you hear me? I miss you SO MUCH, much more than the stars that might be in the sky and I want you to know that I LOVE YOU more than anything. It's twenty five minutes past the time so I think you're not coming. Either way I hope to see you soon, in flesh and bone, even if it's only in my dreams.

Rest in peace mommy ♥